Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas eve
It's 1:30 am on Christmas. Once again I am unable to sleep. Its in the quiet hours of the night that my heart hurts the most. It just really is difficult to breath sometimes. I still play the "what if game" all the time. I dream that I would just wake from this nightmare. I was reflecting on last Christmas... Right before the holidays we were visiting with our good friends. We asked what their plans were for Christmas and they responded that they were headed to Utah for what might be the last christmas with their father ( he had been battling cancer for about six years). Little did I know it would be Robs last Christmas with us as well. That stupid cancer took away my husband and all of my dreams. It stole his life and mine. So I sit here crying wondering "what if". Remembering our last Christmas together. In the morning when the sun rises and day breaks, after my body is renewed and my tear ducts are all dried up I will celebrate the birth of our savior and a promise of eternal family. For now I will dream of him in his new Christmas eve Jammie's.
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1 comment:
I know you posted this over a week ago, but I just came across it today. It breaks my heart to think of you up at night and so sad. I hope you had sweet dreams of your Rob in his Christmas Eve jammies. You have been on my mind so much through this holiday season and in my prayers. We need to go to lunch or dinner soon. Love ya!
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